.

discipline

life goal: to find a bridge across the gap between how things are - and how they should be.

answer: Jesus.

There seem to be these really poignant times in my life where I am smacked rather rudely with the reality of my own messiness. (we could use another word here).

fact: life is hard.

question: what will we do with it?

I need a good kick in the behind from God. (I said this to a friend, then rather timidly looked up and added - "Oh! - A gentle one that is, please." You have to be careful what you ask for.)

I've been feeling generally unmotivated lately. Overwhelmed with the ways I'm failing to balance my life. Failing to spend the time I need with God. Not wanting to face up to the things I know Him and I need to tackle. Feeling like I can't live up to the expectations of friendships. 

short story: things need to change.

the beginning: a new habit of prayer

thank goodness He's always loved me in my darkest times.

...

"Your arms are long enough to reach
and Your eyes are sharp enough to see

When I'm outrunning you,

You're out running for me."

sea salt.

I have days of missing Maine.

the lighthouses.

the coast.

the seafood.

the summer camping months.

One day, I'll take my children there.

let it be true.

I want to love you more than I do.

.

{I can't seem to pray much more than that.}

repeat. 

repeat.