control.

So my little sister and I had a heart-to-heart conversation the other night. And in a very tactful and gentle way she told me that she thinks I have a problem with being over controlling. I was sort of struck. Yes, Grace, you have faults. Ha. But in all seriousness, I guess I never realized that struggling to be in control of everything in my life could be the root problem of so many things. It can be oppressive in other people's lives that I am a part of, and frankly, downright suffocating. I think my sister was able to see clearly something I was pretty blind to. She began to take the issues I had shared with her and show me how each of those things had been, and was being, affected by my desire for control. It was pretty humbling, to say the least. But at the same time...pretty awesome. She wanted to pray with me - and so there we both lay in bed, with my quilt, and she held my hand and prayed with me. How incredible is that? To have a thirteen year old sister who listens to you, pushes you, and prays with you? I feel really blessed. I also can see really clearly now some areas I have to work on. And wow, what an incredible peace I found from praying and saying, "God I trust you with the outcome of these things...and I release my grip of control." It's exciting, an adventure...and everything may not turn out as I would like it to...but at least I can be confident in saying it turned out the way God intended it to because I gave it over to Him and didn't try to get in the way. He is good to me and slowly He's taking my conceited, shallow heart and claiming it as His.


It seems quite elementary, and yet such a basic thing can be so quickly overlooked.