reclaiming our chosenness

I have had quite a few people pushing me to read Henri Nouwen's book, Life of the Beloved. I decided there must be a reason I should read the book, so I quickly got a hold of a copy. I read three pages of the first chapter and I cried. Truth has a way of finding the deepest parts of our hearts.

Here are some excerpts I want to share, I'm sure I will share more as I continue reading...the book is a goldmine.

"The real trap...is self-rejection. I am constantly surprised at how quickly I give in to this temptation. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking: 'Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.' Instead of taking a critical look at the circumstances or trying to understand my own and others' limitations, I tend to blame myself - not just for what I did, but for who I am."

"Don't you often hope: 'May this book, idea, course, trip, job, country, or relationship fulfill my deepest desire?' But as long as you are waiting for that mysterious moment you will go on running helter-skelter, always anxious and restless, always lustful and angry, never fully satisfied."

"Every time you listen with great attentiveness to the voice that calls you the Beloved, you will discover within yourself a desire to hear that voice longer and more deeply. It is like discovering a well in the desert. Once you have touched wet ground, you want to dig deeper."

I think I have begun to touch the surface of that well. This whole week I have been completely overwhelmed with joy, for no real apparent reason. There is a deep peace that has settled into my heart, when I try to express it verbally to others I only find myself fumbling for words. God. That's the only word I have. Knowing him, and desperately wanting more and more of him.

I think he's been teaching me to live as the Beloved, just simply that. I couldn't really put a finger on it before, but reading Nouwen's well-written thoughts is beginning to help me put words to the time of changing I feel inside. I can't wait to read more.