drifting.

I haven't been blogging lately. I haven't been keeping up with people well either. I feel guilty about both.

The truth is, I'm struggling to learn how to live fully in one place and still keep the closeness I have with friends away. 

I'm also facing some big decisions about the future, and I'm unsure of what to base those decisions on. Maybe I just need to leap. With each choice there's a pain involved, and a joy. As is the nature of most things. 

If you would have told me that moving over to New Zealand things would end up the way they have now...I either would have laughed in your face, or unpacked all my bags and been too frightened to move. Nothing like what I planned, or could have planned...but a place I like being, and a space in which I feel loved. It feels right. I know in my heart though that change inevitably will come at me fast...soon enough...and I feel like I am waiting tense and cautious, as if preparing myself for someone to jump out and say "boo!".