save yourself instead

what would you do if i'm not what i'm supposed to be, because i'm not.

i pull the pin off the grenade & toss it gently in the middle. Honey let's not kid ourselves, that's the devil with his fiddle. He's playing our song again, & it's starting to rub off. I clench my teeth to pass the pain, but my jaw is turning soft. This eagles eye view is killing it all for me. You've got full access to the heart, but all you do is break the key. You might be model, but are you willing to play your role. Buried deep inside that bottle is a window to the soul. & you have to tell me what it is that's so amazing. From the outside looking in it doesn't seem worth saving. You plea for bargains, mercy, grace, & all the rest, but i can't seem to give it to you, with this boulder on my chest. & i want it gone, but you won't take it anymore. Here's another string of words i've saved from the killing floor.

what would you think if i sang out of tune, would you stand up & walk out on me? What would you do if i'm not what i'm supposed to be? Lend me your ears & i'll sing you a song, & i'll try not to sing out of key. What would you do if i'm not what i'm not what i’m supposed to be?

stress & life get packaged like forks & knives. One for destroying & another for stabbing insight. Just a few more miles with this plastic carrot in sight. I'm tired of pulling you suckers, but i'll do my job tonight. I stretch these old bones & take a good look at my reflection, but i can't see anything that's really worth a mention. Oh, there i am just a speck at the bottom, or more like a stain waiting to be forgotten. I'm an empty carcass, a hopeless case with a broken lock, but i'll be alright my skins thick like a wet blanket full of rocks. This is me, a reality, a skinless mess trying to hold it all together. Please don't let me be your goal, i'm a rusty car without leather. No sunroof, no fancy engine, & no cd. I'm all hubcaps, am/fm, & it costs extra if it's free . I will point at you, i will put you down. I will disappoint you every time i make these sounds. So leave now, forget me, save yourself instead. You are nothing. Love, the voice inside my head.

{The Listener Project}