embracing pain

Winter break has been such a time of reflection. I left school running away from some problems...hoping to come home and find healing in the solitude and time away. I have learned so much, and I continue to ponder so much in my heart. I realized that I want to love people and keep my heart vulnerable being aware of the possibility of getting hurt...and when that hurt comes I want to accept it, not hide from, not harden heart from it...but let Jesus love me through it. A woman's heart was made to love deeply and vulnerably...God made our hearts to reflect a very special part of Him. Too often we say "it's not fair!" and we get bitter and close up when we are disappointed or hurt...and that is exactly what Satan wants. When our hearts become cold and unfeeling...we stop reflecting the heart of God. It's hard...but our energy and capacity to love must come from Jesus...our knight, our rescuer, our lover...the One who loves us more than anyone ever will, or ever could. He will give us the strength to leave behind our pity parties and love again...and He will be the love for us when we can't even love ourselves. These words seem repetitive...but they are becoming so real to me.