Wednesday, November 23, 2011

.

 

These words find a place I cannot explain. Alive and painful all in one, they are strikingly beautiful. And their incapability to be explained, is what only makes them only more beautiful. 
That's the way I'd like to write.

We’re all born to broken people on their most honest day of living
and since that first breath... We’ll need grace that we’ve never given
I've been haunted by standard red devils and white ghosts
and it's not only when these eyes are closed
these lies are ropes that I tie down in my stomach,
but they hold this ship together tossed like leaves in this weather
and my dreams are sails that I point towards my true north,
stretched thin over my rib bones, and pray that it gets better
but it won’t won’t, at least I don’t believe it will...
so I've built a wooden heart inside this iron ship,
to sail these blood red seas and find your coasts.
don’t let these waves wash away your hopes
this war-ship is sinking, and I still believe in anchors
pulling fist fulls of rotten wood from my heart, I still believe in saviors
but I know that we are all made out of shipwrecks, every single board
washed and bound like crooked teeth on these rocky shores
so come on and let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief
and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach
come on and sew us together, tattered rags stained forever
we only have what we remember

I am the barely living son of a woman and man who barely made it
but we’re making it taped together on borrowed crutches and new starts
we all have the same holes in our hearts...
everything falls apart at the exact same time
that it all comes together perfectly for the next step
but my fear is this prison... that I keep locked below the main deck
I keep a key under my pillow, it’s quiet and it’s hidden
and my hopes are weapons that I’m still learning how to use right
but they’re heavy and I’m awkward...always running out of fight
so I’ve carved a wooden heart, put it in this sinking ship
hoping it would help me float for just a few more weeks
because I am made out of shipwrecks, every twisted beam
lost and found like you and me scattered out on the sea
so come on let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief
and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach
come on and sew us together, just some tattered rags stained forever
we only have what we remember

My throat it still tastes like house fire and salt water
I wear this tide like loose skin, rock me to sea
if we hold on tight we’ll hold each other together
and not just be some fools rushing to die in our sleep
all these machines will rust I promise, but we'll still be electric
shocking each other back to life
Your hand in mine, my fingers in your veins connected
our bones grown together inside
our hands entwined, your fingers in my veins braided
our spines grown stronger in time
because are church is made out of shipwrecks
from every hull these rocks have claimed
but we pick ourselves up, and try and grow better through the change
so come on y'all and let’s wash each other with tears of joy and
tears of grief
and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach
come on and sew us together, were just tattered rags stained forever
we only have what we remember

Monday, November 21, 2011

red.



I noticed this photo the other day on a blog, and couldn't get away from just how lovely it is. I'm not sure what it is that draws me so much to the woman in the photo...maybe it's her curly hair springing every which way -  her bright red flowered shirt, or maybe the fact that her name is "Star". Everything about her appearance suggests that she lives life, free as a bird. Winsome and bright. I don't know what it would take for me to let go of the worries and thoughts that often grip so tightly to my mind. I would love to make just one decision and watch my life transform from it's overly contemplative state to an always hopeful spirit.

When I stepped into God's presence last night, during the music as it played...he took my hand - and we ran. The sky was white, the field was knee high with golden grass...and all we did, was run. The breeze whipped around me, and my heart felt light. As the music changed, he pulled me up short and with one arm held above my head, he twirled me and we danced. I laughed.

"Majesty" the words expanded, and burst. "His grace has found me just as I am."

"Just a few more minutes with you please..." I pleaded, "Just a few more..."

"Let's do this again soon" He said in his warm voice.

A break, and the music changed again. The perfect song for the perfect moment. I lifted my head with the biggest smile across my face. "I've finally found where I belong...I've finally found where I belong, in your presence...I've finally found where I belong, Lord...To be with you, to be with you" The words never truer. This place with him, this place where I am truly myself. Where nothing else exists to furrow my brow. Only laughter, and deep soul-filling joy. "I am my Beloved's and He is mine" the lyrics broke into my state of mind and looking up at him, my mouth filled with the words, "So come into your garden and take delight in me...take delight in me..delight in me, delight in me..." Saying it again wasn't enough, again, again. "Delight in me...God delight in me."

I'm desperate for Him to change me. Desperate to be His delight.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

{what really matters}

this video is a must see...