Friday, August 21, 2009

in His eyes, I am lovely.

Tonight I sat at Barnes & Noble (which has almost become a second home), drank a Raspberry Mocha (which I don't even like, but I drink it for sentimental value...yes, call me crazy), I read book upon book, and journaled. It was wonderful.

These are some things I have been mulling over lately...

The other day a dear friend of mine said something really meaningful to me. She said, "Grace, it doesn't matter if your situation isn't as difficult, or how it compares to my situation, it's your heart. And that's it. It matters." I so desperately needed to hear that. I needed to hear that more than I needed to hear that I'm not alone and that everyone goes through this. It is my heart, and I've realized that everyone hurts in a different way, there are similarities, but really, we cannot fully understand the pain of someone else.

I've also been reminded that beauty doesn't come without brokenness, and that joy is so much sweeter because of pain. I want my heart to remain vulnerable and penetrable. I want to love deeply, and feel pain deeply. I am slowly beginning to embrace the hurt as beautiful, instead of longing for it's end.

I've started to pray again. Slowly. It's good to begin to breathe again.

I am loved. I am His delight. And He isn't going anywhere.

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