Friday, December 17, 2010


Nobody tells you that being young feels like this. 

I am overwhelmed with options. I think I make decisions more monumental than they probably are, and over analyze them too much...but I don't want regrets...who does, really.

People often give the advice, "follow your heart, do what you want to what you love..." I wonder if anyone else feels like a stranger to themselves. I wish I knew what my heart wanted. I don't feel passionate about one career, I don't have the drive to do one thing for the rest of my life...I envy the people who do. I don't even have a hobby that I love more than anything. 

Sigh. Praying today for God to give me vision. I want a cause, I want something to pursue wholeheartedly. Something absolutely worthwhile and life-changing. 

The thing I care most about in my life are people...but maybe I need to care about more than I?  

I have no desire to be a career-driven woman, but maybe that's what I'm supposed to be.

Maybe it's time for my heart to grow older and my head to drive me more than my heart. 

Ugh. I don't like being in this place. I really don't.


Anonymous said...

Couldn't help but think about the words of Jeremiah 17:9 when you stated that most people will tell you to follow your heart. I too have heart that most of my life; even read it on the wrapping of a Dove chocolate. :) But it's yet another crafty lie from the Enemy. Following our hearts leads to much deceit - after all, God said our heart is the most deceitful above all else. Yuck. Kinda crazy to then follow it, huh? After all, following it means it's too driven by our feelings, and God wants us to be driven by our spirits under the influence of His Spirit. Simple concept, but difficult to walk out...which must be why we were given the words to daily deny self.

Don't worry about the choices so much....He's the Potter and thankfully as clay we don't have to tell the Potter what to make. :) He has already declared you His masterpiece...He is just revealing it to you piece by piece.

Anonymous said...

this is what happens when you don't proof your own writings...meant to say "i too have hearD not heart" ha!