Sunday, December 12, 2010

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The courtyard. The marble, the tall walls and the open roof. There was so much space between me and Him. I stood holding the handle of a massive dark brown door. I could leave, I knew I had the option. Did I want to leave the one consistent place in my life? No, I knew I didn't. I turned around and began walking back towards Him. I had no energy, no desire for Him...so I got down on my knees, willing myself to want Him. I stayed there, and He came to me. He knelt down, He always comes to where I am to meet me. He held His arms wide and I crawled into them. I sat there in His arms and felt how much He loved me. Once again my chest was torn open...the cavity of my ribcage exposed...and He took my heart out from me, holding it in His hands, bloody and a mess. Then He reached inside his own chest and took his heart and put it where mine had been. "You need to take my heart and show them what it's like." He said. "I am love, you cannot love without me." He continued. I nodded and watched Him put stitches down my side. As He did my eyes went quickly to my still remaining scars..."they're still there" I said sadly as I looked at the ugly twisted skin. He looked at me and said, "Grace. Every scar is there to draw attention for people to find my heart in you. They aren't going away, because each single scar has a purpose for the bigger picture of your life." I was stunned by the thought.I thought they were part of the tragedy of the consequences...I never thought they were meant to be there all along.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You dont know me and you don't have to....i came across your blog b/c of someone else that knows you and man do you have a gift with words. how is it that the God of this universe can use a complete stranger to speak solace to my soul on a hollow Monday morning? What an incredible beautiful word picture of grace, truth, mercy, and unfathomable love. Thank you for writing such words for the world to see....

Susan said...

this brought tears to my eyes...He's made you so beautiful. i love the rawness of your delicate heart, Grace. your captivating words reek of our redeeming Creator.

i love you dear friend.

Kate said...

this is beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Its been 6 months since I first read these words. I have since used them in my line of work to speak truth and solace to others. I still stand amazed at God's sovereignty and His intentional ways...meaning that my "stumble" to your page was no accident. And how He had plans to use your words in ways I didn't fathom or imagine.
I say this to encourage you.....to keep writing. You never know how God will use the honest disclosure of one's soul to usher another into His arms of comfort and healing.