Friday, November 26, 2010

twenty & two.

This blog post seems significantly more important, though I know that isn't necessarily true.

A birthday has always been to me a time when I take into account just how I have spent my last year, what I would like to continue doing, and what I would like to change. 

Looking back though, I realize that most years were nothing I could have ever planned. 

Coming into my twenty-second year I feel age clench a bit tighter, and my thoughts are heavy with vision and dreaming. The all-too-familiar quote, "Do not fear death, only the unlived life." is lodged at the forefront of my mind. 

After spending time staring at the blank page of my journal, with only a few colorful doodles in the corner as a result of the hour...I decided this year needed to have a different look. No more - losing ten pounds-doing something nice for someone every day-taking time to stop and smell the roses - sort of resolutions. Those are all well and good, but if I'm honest, my attention span is so all-over-the-place I usually lose focus fairly quickly. I decided to skip the fluff sort of stuff, and stick to the simple. Getting down to the real meat and bones of life. 

After that long-winded train of thought, these are the resolutions I ended with.

Part one - Not pretending to be anything I am not. 
It's come to the point where it's just take it, or leave it. 
I'll relish in my uninformed music taste.
I will laugh at my consistent fail attempts of parking a car.
And I will most likely always be grumpy in the mornings.
You get the idea.

Part two - I want to be like love. 
Maybe that sounds strange, and maybe it is.

"To say that I am made in the image of God is to say that love is the reason for my existence, for God is love. Love is my true identity...If therefore i do anything or think anything or say anything or know anything that is not purely for the love of God, it cannot give me peace, or rest, or fulfillment or joy. To find love I must enter the sanctuary where it is hidden, which is the mystery of God."
{Thomas Merton}

How can my life look brighter? More like the brightest Love I know.
How can I lay down my life more for others?
Taking each individual person and caring, caring well.
I have a feeling that the secret to great joy is directly linked to sacrifice.

I'll end this post with my mind still racing, 
and my heart still lost in thought.

I am stunned when I look around me and see the people God has chosen to love me through this past year. Beyond blessed isn't even descriptive enough. God has done so much. My heart slowing warming to His touch, and my will conforming to His ways. 

This year is going to be a great one, I can feel it.

1 comment:

Elle said...

You are beautiful grace. Everything about you. I have seen you grow so much from this time last year when we celebrated with a blue cake in Ireland. You are someone so much more sure. "God has a rich inheritance for you, His beloved, and he won't stop until he has made a miracle out of you"--Beth Moore.

Happy Birthday.