Sunday, March 14, 2010

Some goodbyes, will be the real kind.

In 8 weeks everything I've known for last 4 years of my life is going to change.

I will be a "real" adult...ready...or not.

I will (hopefully) be living in a place all my own.

I will have a car.

I will have to find a new church to join.

I will have to cook for myself & go grocery shopping weekly.

I will work every day to support myself.

I will begin to realize which friends are going to be in my life permanently, and realistically (though heartbreakingly so) there are probably some I'll never see again or be as close to anymore.

Facing these changes is really, really tough. I have never felt as settled as I do here, and with my parents moving mid-college, this has been my home. It's hard to put on a tough face and set out completely alone...I know I have God, and my parents are always there for support...but for the most part, it's just me and that big crazy world out there. And friendships. That's the toughest part. For now I am in a thriving community, constantly surrounded by the people I love...but it can't stay this way forever. I know what's meant to will last, I know intentionality is important, but I also know for some people, this will be a real goodbye.

A lot of times I just want to curl up in a ball and plead that I'm still a little girl and I need someone else to be strong for me. Growing up I've found, hurts a lot. Change hasn't been a foreign thing this past year, and it would be nice to just say, "Stop! Enough with it all already."

But, even though this isn't easy, God has promised to be permanent. Throughout the days He whispers that I am His Beloved and He calls me to come closer. And when I find Him, time stands still, my soul begins to breathe easier, and the only thing I hear Him ask of me, is that I delight in Him.

2 comments:

Jill Williams said...

I know how you feel. The good news is that you definitely have not taken for granted all that your college experience (especially good friends) had to offer. You'll be better and stronger because of it, as you "enter the real world."

Also, you want to do my grocery shopping and cooking too? I bet you are way better at that than me.

Richie said...

Trust me Grace, someone like you will not have any problems finding great friends in new places. =0) As soon as people get to know you, then it's a done deal. I beleive it's okay to curl up in a ball sometimes and want someone to be strong for you, that's something I beleive God has put in us all so that we would seek Him as our source. Our strength is always found in Him...