Sunday, May 2, 2010

{deep} joy

It's time to say goodbye.

I began the packing process today. As I sorted through the abundance of things I have, I easily began tossing out decorations, bedding, dishes, and other assorted things I at one time "had to have"...but when it came to the old worn out notes, gifts and photos, I couldn't bring myself to neglect any of them. Because really, it is not all the "stuff" I own that is the little pieces of hearts I've collected...little pieces of my own heart I have given. It's the same when sorting through memories. I cannot remember test scores or grades on papers...but I can tell you all about pranks played, fears overcome, and all sorts of "first" things. I can tell you all about the people I love, and the people who have loved me. Sadness creeps in when I think of letting go...but I know that I cannot experience the fullness of what is to come without leaving some things here. God has always proven to be good. He is always loving. It's not this one time thing of, "God loves me" instead it is - I am involved in a continuous process of being loved by God. Active love. Poured out and abundant - guiding - love. Object of His desire.

I will be okay. The relationships that are meant to last, will. The memories that matter won't be forgotten. The pain only runs as deep as the joy did.

We fall in love with the things that make us feel most alive.

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